It has just occured to me.

The people I hate the most always seem to be smart and successful at almost everything they do. Meanwhile, the people whom I like the most are almost certainly doomed to failure, and has a hard time with almost everything. It's true, for some strange reason, that everyone who gets fired seems to be a friend of mine. Those who are left behind, however, I could care less if they fell of a horsecart and faceplanted in manure.

So those of you who are reading this, and consider yourselves utter and total failures, we could probably be best friends.