The doctor said that I have three months left to live.

That's because I broke the vase in her office today.

As I watched all the water flow outward from the shattered remains, I thought to myself, "those lilacs are quite beautiful".

I actually had no idea what they were. For all I know, they could have been dandelions.

In any case, I told her I'd pay for the vase and any damage I caused.

But she refused, claiming it was her fault that she put it in such an awkward place.

I felt bad though, so I left a hundred dollars on her desk anyway.

I'm sure it cost less than that...

...oh damn, I've been had.