Walking down the street, I could have sworn that she made a glance in my general direction.

* * * * * *

Did she? Or was she staring at someone else walking behind me? If she did glance at me, what did she mean by it? Does she want me? Is my fly undone? Did I flatulate, and she smelled something?

OhGodOhGod. She's absolutely stunning. Maybe I should just follow her, and see where she goes. Or maybe she'll look back, and see that I'm actually staring at her like a human Labrador, and maybe she'll give me some attention.

So what if I went up and said 'hi' to her? Will she be receptive? What would her reaction be? Will she say 'hi' and walk off, or would she think that my accent is uber attractive? Perhaps we would hit it off, and go to the coffee shop across the street, and chat some more.

But does she even like coffee? Perhaps she wants to go straight to the bar, and have a few Metropolitans. But what would we talk about in the bar? Would she find me likeable because I'm the paragon of integrity? Or would she find me petulant because I like to shoot my mouth off with vulgarity?

It'll be nice once she wraps her arms around me, I like the warmth of a nice hug. Perhaps, after that, I may go back to her place, have a cup of tea, and be best friends. Or if I'm lucky, perhaps we'll spend the night, and maybe that'll be that. But what if she wants to get married? Should I say no?

If we did get married, what will our kids look like? Will they be three legged freaks with buck teeth? What will I do then? Call the doctor for amputations or the orthodontist for braces? Will she still love me then?

Would she leave me, and take half my money? Maybe I should keep our accounts separate, so she doesn't screw me and run off with some K-Mart underwear model. I wonder if by then I would have woken up...

* * * * * *

"Hey buddy, watch where you're walking, dickwad."

"Sorry."