I remember.

I remember why it is I wanted to love someone.

The dreams I had, back when I was still naive about the world...

...even then, even now, the feeling is still the same, though the reality of it all has changed. I may forget my reason for being from time to time, but it has always been there.

* * * *

Back in Grade 10, I was on a religious retreat as part of the school curriculum. My best friend at the time, and a man who I still admire today even though we've lost touch, sat beside me, looking at the fireplace. I was quite a reserved child, and he was always there to support me.

We sat in the room, sitting in a circle, having a question and answer session about life and religion. The high school mentality as it was, many of whom that were present mearly made a mockery of the scenario. It too thought it was quite a waste of time, till the feeling came over me again.

There was a moment of silence, and for some reason, I interjected.

"If there is truly someone that you love, would you sacrifice yourself so that they can live?"

Such a simple question, but complex in its own way all the same, that many probably would have not thought about such an answer before at their age. But I have always had dreams and nightmares of the scenarios constantly when I was young. Why? I do not know. But it has always been at the back of my mind, wishing that it will never come true.

My friend looked at me, as the other students sat there quietly, as if in shock because the quiet loser said something. He said out loud, "yes, I would die for her. I really believe it."

He said it without flinching or studdering. It was the first time ever in my existence that I have been validated on a serious issue. It was the first time ever that I've ever brought up something meaningful in front of anyone, including my family.

The floodgates opened up that night, as the rest of the group started to bring up their own stories. Not necessarily in response to what I proposed, but merely their own dreams and thoughts...

* * * *

In all of us. Merely contemplating such thoughts is absurd to say the least. Fate is sometimes cruel, but I believe in it, among many other things. Just like this...