2003-06-27 - 12:10 a.m.
Day 9: "You're just not a funny guy. In fact, I only know of one Canadian that's even remotely funny, and he makes movies." The Englishman mused as I sat there, blank faced and jaw locked, looking into space as if my mother just told me I was a bastard child. Across the room, sitting on the other end of the table, sat my boss. All of her 5' 3" of imposing appearance glanced back at me with a puzzled look. Either she thinks that I've suffered an aneurysm, or just on hard drugs. But I sat there, blank as a whiteboard, trying to find the next sentence. I don't like big fixtures. Large meetings are the bane of my existence. Some people think they're enormously enjoyable, being around in a social context and sharing dumbass jokes which are not all too enlightening. I just think they're my perpetual Waterloo, I always feel like I'll say something which will finally put the nail in my coffin. My greatest error of judgement is to always make my greatest errors of judgement. I just never seem to find the right words to say. And when I try to hard to make myself look not bored, I just make myself look too bored. I don't understand why it's such a hard thing for me, but it somehow is. Much better suited to small groups or one on one, I reckon I should avoid social functions at all costs. But then, there's another one to attend tomorrow night. And attendance is mandatory... |