I feel like such a wimp. "Oh, I'm too stressed out, I can't perform to my own standards." Never hear me say that when I have to double fist Boddingtons.

The training manager sends me home for a day, because I look like shit. Schedules pushed back, another unhappy camper, scurry home to find the phone number for his mother, just because he forgot what it was.

Decided to go on Google and type in names of people I haven't seen in ages. Got one, the girl I had a crush on, the girl that used to be my work buddy, the girl that starred in two Shaggy videos, even though she didn't want to be. Now she's some saleswoman for a film studio in Canada, probably earning herself a few hundred thou quid a year.

Not bad, though I haven't done badly myself either. If only I wasn't such a wimp...