I've always tried to make my life as simple as possible. Because complication, as a matter of fact, only adds to my malaise, which I do not need.

Yet I continually look toward the future, wondering about the big picture. Things that have not happened yet, I wonder about. Things that may not happen, I still do fret. Though I continually tell myself to live for today, somehow, just before I sleep, I cannot. Perhaps it is because the day is over, and there is nothing left to think about anymore, except for the future.

After reading the Formula 1 Media Guide tonight, I fell into a state of sombre disrepair. For I've been reading up on the stories of racing drivers who have made it, others who have struggled, and many others who have failed. Once upon a time, I wanted to be part of that fraternity, so I look upon their career paths with a degree of wishfulness, and much self interest.

But it also adds to my anxiety of failure, not because I do not have confidence in myself. Most racing drivers who reach the top ranks are unflappable in their self belief. But it does not necessary guarantee success. Sometimes, life has its own way of making itself known to the subscriber, in the most uncertain of terms. You can be good, but you also have to be lucky. It's disheartening to think that, you may have tried your best, but you can still be left wanting.

And so I hope fate deals me a kind hand, as I stare that the lucky charm which my mother gave to me yesterday. It's a little goat beanie, sitting on top of my computer, staring at me as I type. Even though my heart feels rather heavy, the little goat is still smiling, like an idiot that knows no difference between happiness nor sorrow. It just looks ahead, and nothing more.

Perhaps that's how life should be. The less you know, the better it gets. Yet it's so hard to convince oneself of that sometimes, but I must try. What else is there to do?

And so ends Day 26...

"And wouldn't you know it, it's all better now."