"My God! The game was amazing! Oh wait, you couldn't watch it, could you..."

Day 8

My mother's manicurist (I'm not sure what the word is) showed up at our abode this eve. And of course, I had to get in on the action.

I look at my hands now, and they look so pristine. But I'm rather sure by the time I get through with the peanut butter tomorrow morning, they'll look like shit again.

But at least they look nice for the evening. I'm sure the women in my dreams would adore them, wanton to hold them for hours on end. Caress after gentle caress, waiting patiently for that momentary lapse into slience, and then the kiss...

Holding hands is such an underrated exercise. I rate it almost on a par with a good kiss, simply because I love the sensation of touching another woman's hand. In fact, the memory of (censored) and I holding hands in the car that evening, I could never forget. Unfortunately, she herself was much too forgettable.

In any case, I hear everyone is skipping work back in Canada to just run around and be juvenile. I wish I was there...and guess what, this kind of thing always happens when I'm out of the country.

I bet you a million dollars, if I'm still here (and not there) by June, the Leafs would probably win the Cup.

This is my edict. Leaf fans would be praying by now to keep me out of the country...