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Archives 2002-01-17 - 3:59 a.m.


I feel as if everyday, everytime I turn on the computer, a little piece of me disappears.

And as I try to explain myself to the general populace about my current condition, I can't help but think that the road ahead will be increasingly harder than it was before.

All the things I've done wrong have passed. All the things I've yet to do wrong I do fear. But there are many rights to wrongs which can be amended, if I'm alive to make such a reversal.

I dearly dislike the fact that, on such short notice, you could be dead. And it happens a lot for what I do. Though I do not think about such things when I'm going about my business, when the day's over, it's always in the back of my mind. This is becoming more evident as the days go on, including what happened today.

I just want to put my house in order. I want to be remembered as someone who's done good in his life, and perhaps made a difference. But most of all, I want to be accountable to myself, and I want to think that I've done all I've could to make others as happy as I should be.

It all sounds rather morbid, but once in a while, realities being what they are, things can happen in the blink of an eye. Though my dreams of the future are long and wide, I wish not to see them with my eyes closed...

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