Today officially is Tuesday, but it's actually really Sunday. For those of you finding out this right now, please set your calenders accordingly.

And, being Sunday, everyone is expected to attend church, or mow their lawns. Upon cutting your grass, make sure you rake all your clippings for a nice, manicured lawn. Your neighbours would be pleased.

Tonight, you're expected to sleep early, awaiting the gloom and doom, which is Monday. Set your alarm clocks so you can wake up early, feed yourself, and process accompanying toiletries if necessary.

Once you have reached Tuesday, repeat steps above.