2002-06-10 - 9:42 p.m.
No matter how amazingly well things go for me, I always find a way to screw it up for myself, just to create unnecessary unhappiness and undue worry on my part. Afterall, I did create this journal to air my grievances (please refer to entry 1), not as an excuse to pop champagne corks. So it shall be, then, I'm creating more material to fill this journal of mine. Not that I create such fallacies in order to fill pages, that's a silly notion, isn't it. Though in reality, I am not terribly fond of mistakes that happen on my own volition, because they somehow seem to carry more weight on my shoulders. Others I cannot control, myself I can only blame. In this case, without mentioning any specifics, this has been a long standing problem of mine. And I must say, after every waking moment, I think to myself how lucky I have been so far to have escaped unscathed. So I'm just writing about it because I want to remind myself never to make that same mistake again, ever. I've said it before, but this time, I'm very certain of my choice. I just hope that my past will never catch up to me. Knock on wood... |